I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
