dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
