Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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