During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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