I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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