He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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