i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
