the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
