jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
