I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
