I faked an abortion last night.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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