You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
