Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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