im having a threesome with these popsicles
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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