The maid of honor just puked.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
