It's like God shit irony all over that family
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
