he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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