he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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