I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
