NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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