I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
