4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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