He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
