My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
