I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
