Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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