So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
