she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i believe in u and ur pee
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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