sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
