I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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