My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
