she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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