well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
