no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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