Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I am spending my child support on dildos
She just used a chaser for red wine.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
