why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
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