So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
