I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
