dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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