i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I need to calm my uterus...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
