left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
In other news, I just burned my penis
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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