Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
