I just saw a hot homeless man
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
