Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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