Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize