They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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