a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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