If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
