So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
