I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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