so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
