So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
