I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
ttyl tear gas
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
