i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
