Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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