I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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