May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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