let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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