Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
