I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
