home. puking in laundry basket.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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