there's paper in my vomit.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
