you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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