She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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