No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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