I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
