I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
