Non-Jews are for practice
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
