so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
