I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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