At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
