I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
