I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
