tell your sister to shave her snatch
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
