If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The power of my boobs compel you
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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